“Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”
I learnt a valuable lesson last year, and that was that it is ok to take a break. You may be thinking really, ain't that pretty standard? Yeah maybe? But do you ever feel like you have to keep going? Or have a massive sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) if you stop doing everything. Like what would your purpose be?
I was never the one to not do anything.. to just sit still. I had to do anything I could to feel fulfilled. At school, I did after school activities, had a job when I was 18. Started a blog, had a placement, went to dance classes, was into more activities at Uni. I'm a go getter and I have no doubt these qualities, will take me to where I will go. However, my desire to push and be the best. kinda took its toll and I became incredibly tired this year. I was crying a lot, and just felt like I was going through the motions. What I realised that what I thought I wanted, maybe wasn't what I wanted... so in order to find myself I decided to do something I hadn't done a take a break, because I couldn't think.
You see, the idea of being busy is no longer appealing. If you know me well enough you'll know that busy is strongly associated with who Jess is now. I also keep busy as a coping mechanism. I've gone through a lot of changes in the last few years, more so last year and this year. I don't know if I can categorise them as good or bad..It's just different and to be honest I don't think I'm adjusting to the more life changing situations in my life. I don't want to be weak or seem like I can't cope, so I switch off... And refocus on other things.
Mum always said I had a unique way of dealing with things, and I am the expert of emotionally removing myself from sensitive situations, and analysing them with facts and rationalising them. I'm sensible Jess. But sensible Jess needs to feel. I'm afraid of my feelings at times, as I feel everything. I wear my heart on my sleeve. And that's ok.
Soon being busy = Jess has a purpose. A lot of people are surprised when I told them what I do. Monday to Friday, I head up social media and digital content for a Global travel tech company. Then in between that, I freelance for FBL Bloggers & this blog, whilst maintaining a very healthy social life. It's long fam. For a while, this worked, and I was fuelled by admiration. But the admiration no longer fuelled me and I just crashed. I remember a particular moment this happened a few months ago, where I just shut myself off and did nothing. It was the best thing I ever did.
I never had a holiday in 2016, I was a robot. I had become a machine who silenced their deepest desires and fears, due to being scared of realising what was wrong. Now I'm ready and I don't want to be a robot anymore. I want to feel, I want to be me. Which is why I was happily quite on the place, that was my sanctuary for years, My websites! My IG was lit, because I just focused on being me and not this super amazing superwoman, who was on 100. I am learning to take care of me. Learning to slow down, albeit difficult! I am allowing myself to feel and adjust to the changes in my life.
You see, whatever you do, you have a purpose. You wouldn't be on this Earth if you didn't have a part to play in this bit wild universe. I am learning to stop searching for who I am, to force this purpose and go with the flow. Take a break and breathe if you need to, because you matter. You know? Have you needed to take a break recently?
I was never the one to not do anything.. to just sit still. I had to do anything I could to feel fulfilled. At school, I did after school activities, had a job when I was 18. Started a blog, had a placement, went to dance classes, was into more activities at Uni. I'm a go getter and I have no doubt these qualities, will take me to where I will go. However, my desire to push and be the best. kinda took its toll and I became incredibly tired this year. I was crying a lot, and just felt like I was going through the motions. What I realised that what I thought I wanted, maybe wasn't what I wanted... so in order to find myself I decided to do something I hadn't done a take a break, because I couldn't think.
You see, the idea of being busy is no longer appealing. If you know me well enough you'll know that busy is strongly associated with who Jess is now. I also keep busy as a coping mechanism. I've gone through a lot of changes in the last few years, more so last year and this year. I don't know if I can categorise them as good or bad..It's just different and to be honest I don't think I'm adjusting to the more life changing situations in my life. I don't want to be weak or seem like I can't cope, so I switch off... And refocus on other things.
Mum always said I had a unique way of dealing with things, and I am the expert of emotionally removing myself from sensitive situations, and analysing them with facts and rationalising them. I'm sensible Jess. But sensible Jess needs to feel. I'm afraid of my feelings at times, as I feel everything. I wear my heart on my sleeve. And that's ok.
Soon being busy = Jess has a purpose. A lot of people are surprised when I told them what I do. Monday to Friday, I head up social media and digital content for a Global travel tech company. Then in between that, I freelance for FBL Bloggers & this blog, whilst maintaining a very healthy social life. It's long fam. For a while, this worked, and I was fuelled by admiration. But the admiration no longer fuelled me and I just crashed. I remember a particular moment this happened a few months ago, where I just shut myself off and did nothing. It was the best thing I ever did.
I never had a holiday in 2016, I was a robot. I had become a machine who silenced their deepest desires and fears, due to being scared of realising what was wrong. Now I'm ready and I don't want to be a robot anymore. I want to feel, I want to be me. Which is why I was happily quite on the place, that was my sanctuary for years, My websites! My IG was lit, because I just focused on being me and not this super amazing superwoman, who was on 100. I am learning to take care of me. Learning to slow down, albeit difficult! I am allowing myself to feel and adjust to the changes in my life.
You see, whatever you do, you have a purpose. You wouldn't be on this Earth if you didn't have a part to play in this bit wild universe. I am learning to stop searching for who I am, to force this purpose and go with the flow. Take a break and breathe if you need to, because you matter. You know? Have you needed to take a break recently?
JACKET-EBAY
DRESS,CHOCKER, SHOES AND BAG-PRIMARK
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