LIFESTYLE | IT'S OK TO FEEL BROKEN BUT YOU WILL HEAL.. MY BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY

Update: I wrote this post about 4 months ago and I wrote it to better understand my feelings around having depression and anxiety. This post was for me, I never thought I would post it, but after getting to know so many people who are going through the same thing, I think it makes sense to post it. I kinda of knew I had it, but when I was diagnosed with it, I felt relieved and broken. This post is about my feelings at the time. Since then, I still feel the same, but with the counselling I am starting to make sense of my feelings and make improvements. I will do an update to this post in the next few months.

I feel broken. Honestly, so empty and without purpose that it physically and emotionally hurts. Weird for me to announce, but it's true. I want to firstly apologize if my blog has got a bit sad, but I guess the whole reason I started it was a place to showcase my life, my online diary.





So without delaying further, as you know I decided to go to counseling for my anxiety. Which I talked about in my last post. The aim was to get techniques in order to deal with it, and make me feel like myself again. What I got was another realisation, the fact that I had been diagnosed with depression.

The D word, was something that plagued me for years. When told this, it turned my life upside down. My body ran cold with fear, as I was afraid of what people, especially my family, would think of me.





The first thing I thought is how will I tell my family, they'll be so disappointed in me. You see, I'm afraid of this. I never thought I'd be the girl who would suffer from depression.. I always thought that people who were depressed, couldn't get out of bed, were visibly sad... And potentially would self harm. I didn't do this, as this was a sign of extreme depression. Nonetheless, I was afraid of being judged as if you look at me, I seem to be the same bubbly Jess the go getter! But inside, I'm just existing. There is a volcano of emotions.. where I feel scared, emotional, useless, hopeless, tired and a shell of myself. No one knows what's going on inside...

I thought people wouldn't believe me, I thought that they would think I wanted attention and would make a fuss. Believe me, I don't want this. I want to be myself again, I don't want people to worry about me. Being able to open up, about this is scary, but it makes me feel like there is a light in the tunnel! I told my older sister about how I felt and she was so dope. She reassured me that everything was ok. Everything will be ok.. I just need to make the changes in my life which are creating such negativity.

PHOTOGRAPHY- SARAH-ANNE CHOA

It maybe a blessing this.. I've been doing things that don't make me happy for so long, I'm tired. Maybe this is a sign to take control of my life fully and without regrets. I know I'll be ok. Especially as I've got a wonderful support system.

It's ok, I'll heal. Have you ever gone through something like this?

FASHION | #LOVEGLASSES WITH SPECSAVERS

Well today marks the final day of London Fashion Week, and what a week it has been! From Emporio Armani's strong collection fizzing with colourful touches to Top Shop's classic show which brimmed with chiffon, ruffles and feminine colours. Sadly this season, I am not doing my rounds of the shows. However, I got involved with the spirit of London Fashion week, by being a part of the #LoveGlasses campaign with my old friends at Specsavers. I was gifted with 2 glasses from the Nicole Fahri range as well as prescription sunglasses and Specsavers own range of lenses to style up for a fashion focused post.

Nicole Fahri at Specsavers

Nicole Farhi is known for its effortless luxury, and the stunning collection for Specsavers didn't disappoint. I chose two frames from this collection and channeled the classic sensibility from the line, whilst also incorporating my own personal style. To create the looks you see below.

 

I think these oval frames are my fave from the whole range! I styled it with a classic red bodycon dress and over-sized denim jacket, to add a feminine but edgy touch to the whole outfit. What I love about this range is that it has jewel toned frames. It is hard to see in this shot, but my frames are actually an emerald colour, which complements my skin tone beautifully.

I have always been a purple fan, so these frames from the Nichole Fahri range, were a no brainier for me. I wanted to keep the rest of my outfit pretty neutral, but still add a touch of class and interest with the fur detailing of my aviator jacket. What I love about this range is the versatility and the ability to pair with your outfits effortlessly. Both frames came up to £125.

Specsavers Leilani

My heart nearly burst when I came across Specsavers Leilani frames. They have everything I would ever need in a pair of specs; colour, embellishment and an over-sized shape. I have become increasingly impressed with Specsavers own range! Costing £89, you can't go wrong for quality frames that are so fashionable. I got a sense of fun & whimsical-ness (I am not sure that is a word, lol) from the frames, I paired  with my New Look floral dress. I think what makes the dress is the ruffle sleeves, which is very on trend. Paired with my knee highs, this is a perfect transitional outfit for the colder weather.

Karen Millen Sunglasses

With it being September, we can still get away with Autumn sun. I always dreaded having to go on holiday as, switching between my specs and sunglasses was always a mission. However, I am happy to be the owner of my third pair of prescription sunglasses from Karen Millen. I already own a pair of prescription sunglasses from Specsavers, my trusty Cheap Monday specs which I shoot with all the time! It was time for a fashionable upgrade and I am proud to be an owner of these frames. Dark, tortoiseshell frames are always a fave of mine cause they are versatile. I decided to have a pink theme,  with my pink jumper dress, pink nails (thank you Iman) and floral bomber jacket. My personal style really sparkled with this look.

 

If you love frames as much as I do, make sure to check out the #loveglasses hub on Specsavers for the latest trends.

This post was sponsored by Specsavers, all words and opinions are my own.

HEALTH | THE ROAD TO HEALTHY AND BEAUTIFUL SMILE WITH THE NEEM TREE DENTAL CLINIC

I am obsessed with my teeth! If you know me, going to the dentist is as enjoyable as me getting my hair done at the hair dresser. I am especially obsessed with having healthy teeth, so when I was approached by the Neem Tree dental clinic to do a review, I couldn't pass it down. We discussed a few treatments, an initial examination with a hygienist appointment, then whitening after I get my fillings replaced. 

As I entered the clinic, I was given a standard form to fill regarding my general health. The team were very helpful and knowledgeable. From the start,  I felt completely at ease as I entered the clinic. I was greeted by the dental hygienist, who was so lovely! She looked over my X-Rays from my recent appointment, and sadly I couldn't have a whitening done until my teeth were fully healthy. Now looking at my smile, it may look like they are, but I have a sweet tooth and my ability to floss has taken a back seat recently. So until I get new fillings, and up my teeth hygiene routine, this has been put on pause. Good thing, as the bleach used to whiten my teeth would've caused serious pain and no one wants that. Instead I was given a scale and polish to my teeth! Which basically is a deep clean of my teeth.

A scale and polish is a relatively quick procedure. It is carried out using an  quick cleaning of the teeth carried out by a Hygienist.  Usually an Ultrasonic, and other tools are used to remove tartar and plaque from the teeth. The hygienist used the ultrasonic to clean around the gum line and my teeth to remove all the build up of tartar, plaque and food, which I couldn't remove with tooth brushing alone. The procedure was finished off with a polish and I felt like a new woman!

Honestly, this was a little uncomfortable, and my gums did bleed a little bit. But as the strong woman that I am, I powered through. The reason my gums bled, was because they were inflamed, so I have a little case of Gingivitis. The G word scared me, and rightly so, I was told that it was the beginning stages of gum disease, but this can be easily turned around with better oral hygiene and diet. I had my wisdom teeth removed  two years ago in hospital, and some I couldn't have removed as they were too close to my nerves. As a result, my wisdom tooth is impacted and I struggle to clean it with a regular tooth brush. Meaning food gets trapped there a lot. To combat this, I try and use an inter dental tooth brush to get into the nooks and crannies. After my appointment, I was given a treatment plan. In a nutshell, I need to ditch the regular tooth brush for a an electric one, and floss more often. 

I would like to thank the clinic for educating me and cleaning my teeth. Stay tuned for part two to see how I am getting on with my inflamed gums. 

BEAUTY| AESTHETICS LAB REVIEW

If you've been following my blog for a while, you know that I am no stranger to a facial. I believe in pampering ever so often to recharge the batteries and look your best. And why not? We have so many stressors in our lives, we work hard that sometimes we just need to say let me relax. I got to unwind and relax with Aesthetics Lab London, which is based in the beautiful Primrose Hill. 

I opted for the ALabDetox facial which is suitable for oily and congested skin. I have always had oily/combination skin, and open pores on my cheeks meaning I break out alot. So I was really excited to try this facial out!

The facial uses state-of-the-art cosmeceutical products that are customised to your skin’s needs. I was taken to the spa room, where I changed and got in my zone ready for my facial. Next, my skin was cleansed to remove any dirt or extra oil. I was super relaxed and nearly fell asleep.

Next,  resurfacing exfoliation occurred. Which wasn't as bad as I imagined. It involved a unique crystal-free microdermabrasion technique to remove dead skin and brighten the complexion, followed by a lifting massage to improve firmness and muscle tone. The final step included an  application of a cooling, soothing mask with LED light therapy to reduce inflammation leaving your skin fresh and radiant. 

Now, I should've left my skin alone, but as the busy bee that I am I put make up on. And my skin just glowed! I want to say thank you to the team at Aesthetic Lab, you were so lovely and made me feel so relaxed! If you are looking for the perfect boost to your daily skincare regime. Please check out this facial.