BEAUTY | THE WELLINGTON CLINIC THE BEST DENTAL CLINIC IN LONDON

I think I have been obsessed with teeth, for as long as I can remember. At the age of 10, I would always whiten my teeth with whitening strips, floss and have those pearly whites sparkle. However, my sweet tooth addiction, meant that I have about 4/5 fillings between the ages of 17-22. 

It has always been difficult for me, to find a great dental practice in London, that would really teach me about my teeth, and give me amazing quality of care. But that all changed, when I got invited to The Wellington Dental Clinic in Chelsea, for a free dental examination and hygiene treatment (ultrasonic scale and polish). If you follow me on Snapchat, you would've seen my review live, if you don't or missed it, this will be in a vlog.. very soon.

My visit to the clinc happened in two stages. First, I was greeted by the friendly staff and my dentist and dental hygienist. I had a quick consultation with what the review would include, then onto the X-rays to really see how well I'd treated my teeth. They were ok, but needed some TLC. Next, was the check up and clean and my teeth were cleaned so well! The experience was made so much better as I watched Luke Cage on Netflix. On my first visit, I had molds created on my teeth for my whitening guards shown above. I was given a pack of whitening gel for 2 weeks to use to make my  teeth extra bright! 

All in all, my experience was lovely and I want to say a massive thank you to the team at Wellington Dental Clinic. 

LIFESTYLE | ACCEPTING MY ANXIETY

So after much speculation from my family and going to the doctors and getting a confirmation. I've been told that I have anxiety, and if I'm really honest with you, I'm embarrassed to have it.

In no way am I bashing other people with it, But I just want to communicate my feelings around it. I've always been a strong person, I'm from a family of fighters. I'm African, Ghanaian to be exact. If something knocks us down, we dust ourselves off and deal with it head on. We don't dwell, we don't worry, we're the back bone for people. We are not the type of people that need to be saved we do the saving.

I can't be the back bone for others if inside, I constantly feel like I'm crumbling.  Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to explode with so many emotions, that it's hard for me to articulate what I am feeling. I've always found it difficult to express when I'm feeling vulnerable, I cannot speak up until it gets too much. As a result, there are a multitude of things which have led to this point, where I'm anxious all the time.  Inside, I feel I'm suffering, tight chest, worrying thoughts about who I am, what people perceive me to be. That I'm not good enough. That'll never be successful in anything professionally and personally. It's a toxic cycle. I have to push myself to not think of these negative thoughts, and it's so tiring, my God.

That's why I always have quotes on my Instagram, as a reminder of how I'm feeling and to be strong. Luckily, I have very supportive family and friends, who love me. It's just I don't trust myself or I am afraid to feel weak to them, by expressing who I am. Being seen as "weak" and not the "I have my shit together Jess".

I haven't always been like this. If you know me, you'll know I'm a confident person with my shit together. I think as people, we have so many layers and partly that is true. I have a great poker face and on the surface you'd never know how I was feeling.

But as I wrote in my previous post, I've been in need of a break, which I actively do to make my mind and soul breathe and take head of my life. This anxiety, I have, will not always be here. But it is a big indication, that something needs to change in my life. There are several things, I am now confident to say, have broken me down... And I was to scared to say it. Which is why, I personally asked my doctor to refer me to a counselor rather than medication. As I wanted to understand why I'm feeling this and make positive choices, to rectify my life to make me, well me again. I don't feel like Jess, I feel like Jess on autopilot..just going with the flow.

Anxiety itself is tricky to understand. But I found this nifty diagram on Pinterest to explain how I feel. Boy was it helpful.If you're feeling down, please talk to someone. Someone you trust and don't be embarrassed.. I know I am at the moment. Only because of the perception I have of myself. However, what I've realised, now by writing this post is that it's something a lot of people go through. Alot.. and my older sister said something quite insightful..this world is so stressful, I am surprised a lot of other people don't have anxiety.


Phew..so glad that's off my chest!

PHOTOGRAPHER- VICKI WU

DRESS-EBAY

JACKET-EBAY

SHOES-PRIMARK

LIFESTYLE| IT'S OK TO TAKE A BREAK FEATURING SUNGLASSES SHOP

“Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”

― Maya Angelou, Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now

 

*Sunglasses were gifted to me by the Sunglasses shop. They are prescription lenses and can be bought here.

I learnt a valuable lesson last year, and that was that it is ok to take a break. You may be thinking really, ain't that pretty standard? Yeah maybe? But do you ever feel like you have to keep going? Or have a massive sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) if you stop doing everything. Like what would your purpose be?

I was never the one to not do anything.. to just sit still. I had to do anything I could to feel fulfilled. At school, I did after school activities, had a job when I was 18. Started a blog, had a placement, went to dance classes, was into more activities at Uni. I'm a go getter and I have no doubt these qualities, will take me to where I will go. However, my desire to push and be the best. kinda took its toll and I became incredibly tired this year. I was crying a lot, and just felt like I was going through the motions. What I realised that what I thought I wanted, maybe wasn't what I wanted... so in order to find myself I decided to do something I hadn't done a take a break, because I couldn't think.

You see, the idea of being busy is no longer appealing. If you know me well enough you'll know that busy is strongly associated with who Jess is now. I also keep busy as a coping mechanism. I've gone through a lot of changes in the last few years, more so last year and this year. I don't know if I can categorise them as good or bad..It's just different and to be honest I don't think I'm adjusting to the more life changing situations in my life. I don't want to be weak or seem like I can't cope, so I switch off... And refocus on other things.

Mum always said I had a unique way of dealing with things, and I am the expert of emotionally removing myself from sensitive situations, and analysing them with facts and rationalising them. I'm sensible Jess. But sensible Jess needs to feel. I'm afraid of my feelings at times, as I feel everything. I wear my heart on my sleeve. And that's ok.

Soon being busy = Jess has a purpose. A lot of people are surprised when I told them what I do. Monday to Friday, I head up social media and digital content for a Global travel tech company. Then in between that, I freelance for FBL Bloggers & this blog, whilst maintaining a very healthy social life. It's long fam. For a while, this worked, and I was fuelled by admiration. But the admiration no longer fuelled me and I just crashed. I remember a particular moment this happened a few months ago, where I just shut myself off and did nothing. It was the best thing I ever did.

I never had a holiday in 2016, I was a robot. I had become a machine who silenced their deepest desires and fears, due to being scared of realising what was wrong. Now I'm ready and I don't want to be a robot anymore. I want to feel, I want to be me. Which is why I was happily quite on the place, that was my sanctuary for years, My websites! My IG was lit, because I just focused on being me and not this super amazing superwoman, who was on 100. I am learning to take care of me. Learning to slow down, albeit difficult!  I  am allowing myself to feel and adjust to the changes in my life.

You see, whatever you do, you have a purpose. You wouldn't be on this Earth if you didn't have a part to play in this bit wild universe. I am learning to stop searching for who I am, to force this purpose and go with the flow. Take a break and breathe if you need to, because you matter. You know? Have you needed to take a break recently?

PHOTOGRAPHER- VICKI WU

JACKET-EBAY

DRESS,CHOCKER, SHOES AND BAG-PRIMARK

SUNGLASSES- C/O SUNGLASSES SHOP 

WHY I ALMOST QUIT BLOGGING

I never thought I'd be back to writing my blog. Honestly, after 6 years of Look What I Got! The idea of blogging or content creating was so uninteresting. I had touched on this a couple of times​ through blog posts, and I really did try to change things up, and take a break. But the more my life seemed to change, the more my blog, which had been such an integral part of my life, reduced significantly. So why did I almost stop blogging?

I was bored.

First and foremost, it bored me. I was grateful for the event invites, the exclusive opportunities, the people I had met. But after a while, doing the same thing felt like ground hog day.... and after a while I was like is this it? I wasn't growing as a content creator to be honest. Even though I diversified my niche, even though I started YouTube. Blogging had boomed, and as a result the raw feeling if creating for creators sake was lost. Most of us (including myself at times) were more focused on numbers, or content that we knew would get views. 

Now I'm no Debbie Downer. I know how business works and I know you got to change things up to be the best. I'm a marketer (in my day job) so I am so aware of how blogging is a strong word of mouth marketing tool. But I just think most bloggers we're taking it too seriously. It got to the point where I'd be hanging out with some of my blogger friends and all we'd talk about is blogging. I was tired of it, and realised I was in a blogger bubble. At the age of 26, and as a woman who always had other hobbies/activities outside of blogging, this no longer fed my soul. So I took the longest break (3 months), I've ever done and lived my life.

I got busy.

I think I've mentioned my age a few times. The reason I did this, was to highlight the priorities my life has now versus  when I started blogging, I was a 20 year old Uni student, with a lot of time on my hands. To now , a 26 year old with 3 jobs. I have a freelance social and Content start up (FBL Bloggers), Monday-Friday I head up social media and digital content for a global travel tech company. Plus this site is a job. Between that and having a super active social life. LWIG was something to put on the back burner whilst I lived life and focused on the important changes in my life. 

I wanted to more than a blogger.

Jess the blogger has been my identity for 6 years. But I'm more than that. I'm a person, I'm a daughter, a sister, your best friend and I have other interests. Which shocked people, weirdly. I love dance and music. But I'll always be a creative in some way.

So what now?

Obviously, I couldn't bring myself to quit. But I brought myself to take a break, and focus on life. I did not feel guilty, and I couldn't be bothered to think about blogging metrics. The main reason, I didn't quit is because I remembered why I started my blog. My blog saved me, in a number of ways; it was the catalyst which allowed me to be where I am now in my career. It also helped me be more open with my feelings, my interests and helped develop who I am today.

You see, my blog is no longer a place where I post my favourite outfits. It's a place where I express the essence of who I am. It's been my diary for the last 6 years.. and I'd like to have a look back on how I've developed to the person I am today. So how can I truly quit that?

Of course there will be a day, when I  take a bow. But I hope this blog could be an archive of a young Jess, that I can share. All I can promise is to be me, I can't promise to post on the regs like I used to. But I can promise that when I do post... It'll be interesting and of quality.  It'll be the real me and I hope that is why you all visit here, right?

Anyway? Have you quit blogging or thinking about it?

PHOTOGRAPHER- VICKI WU

TOP, CHOCKER AND BOOTS- PRIMARK

SKIRT-EBAY