Sunday, 1 March 2015

LIFESTYLE| IT IS OKAY TO BE UNHAPPY

I was really debating writing this post as I hate being branded a complainer.  I'm used to getting on with things, keeping my chin held up high and burying any of my issues behind. But the whole reason I started this blog was to have a place to voice my opinions, when I felt stifled in my real life.
 

JESS LOOK WHAT I GOT

So here goes, I'm unhappy. I’ve been unhappy for a couple of months now and it is because of a lot of different reasons. I’m very good at giving advice, but I HATE feeling vulnerable and I seldom talk about my issues.
 
As a result, tiny and big problems have been buried behind a sense of bravado and now I'm seeing the negative effects. I'd like to point out that I am not depressed. It is difficult to pin point the cause of my unhappiness. As I keep my feelings in. On the outside I look like the girl who has it all together. I have a good job, amazing friends and family and great opportunities. This is why I feel guilty about writing this as I know that other people have worse problems than me.
 
All I can say is that one source of my unhappiness stems from not doing what I want to do, due to a variety of reasons. The other one is having a lot of great opportunities, however I am overwhelmed by them and don't know what to do with it. I'm afraid of failure, somewhere deep down. I'm afraid of looking stupid, being useless and having no purpose. So I am overwhelmed and extremely stressed with the opportunities and tasks I've put onto myself. This is not healthy.  The other issues are just quite difficult to pinpoint as highlighted earlier.

 
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY


So what is the point of this post? The point of this post is to highlight that it is okay to be unhappy. Happiness is not a constant! As humans we go through a plethora of emotions and it is important to treat each of them separately. We must embrace them and evaluate them. As that is the only way to grow.
 
I've embraced my unhappiness.  Not as a way to complain, moan and not take action. But it has highlighted that some difficult decisions need to be made very soon, in order to be happier and healthier. 
 
Truth be told, I spent the last couple of weeks dealing with extreme stress. On one occasion at work, I had let my personal life drift into work and I spent one Friday crying, a total of 3 times in the work toilets. I couldn't concentrate, my chest was tight and I was frustrated. So I went home. This is not me at all. I felt weak... and I am a strong girl. I never want to feel that helpless again. I need to simplify my life and take it easy on myself. Once I do that I can think clearly.
 
I guess the first step was telling you lot my feelings. It is foreign to me I tell ya. I'm trying to be better with it, really I am. As life is too short,  to always think about my pride. I don’t want to feel emotionally suffocated.  So I guess speaking out is the first step....
 
Have you ever felt really unhappy?  What did you do to change your situation?


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17 comments

  1. It can be daunting speaking about your feeling so publicly but it can be therapeutic to some and also help others too. I wrote something about bad times on my Instagram this morning I referenced it to breathing the in and out process and how just like that mechanism this feeling will to pass eventually.

    There's never nothing wrong with feeling opposite to how you normally do it's life, we are humans, we have varied emotions. I suffer from depression, anxiety and slight agoraphobia and it can be hard to deal with emotions, frustrating but we should never feel guilty or bad for feeling a certain way as there's always a reason behind the emotions.

    I tend to take a lot of time out socially & with blogging as I find my health is more important. I take time to remind myself to make me time and meditate and gain balance.

    Hopefully soon you'll be back to your happy place xo

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    1. Thank you, a friend suggested meditation

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  2. The first step is always talking, so go you! I've been in a similar situation lately, it's like i've had a big cloud over my head and it just won't go away, I wish I could pinpoint it and sort it out, but ah.

    Hope things get better :)

    Sophie x

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  3. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being unhappy at times. In fact it's healthy to allow yourself to truly "feel" all of your feelings. One key factor that I have found to help, is to try to eliminate the people causing you stress or unhappiness(if possible). In a work environment that may not be possibly however on a personal level, it totally is. Hang in there!

    I'm a blogger too and would love if you visited my little slice of the web! xX- KellysVida: a Lifestyle & Mommy Blog | YouTube

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    Replies
    1. I think that is deffo what I will try to do.

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  4. I can relate to how hard this must have been to write, and even harder to press publish. Sometimes this life can throw us so much at once (even if it all seems like great opportunities!) that we just push on with everything but eventually get dragged down a bit. I definitely think embracing it is now the best option so that decisions can be made and actions taken for the better. Life is really just a bunch of moments so try and fit in some quality ones for yourself and screw what everyone else is asking from you for five minutes.

    Lots of love xxx

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  5. I think in life sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down, it's part of human nature and duality, however the best is to take one day at the time and enjoy the present. Don't stress too much about the future, let it be and enjoy now :)

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  6. Just wanted to tell you well done for writing that. What you say about fear of failure rings really true for me and I often wonder how different my life would look if I could rid myself of that fear and do those things that deep down I feel passionate about but am never brave enough to do. Look after yourself. Hope you feel back to yourself again soon - don't be afraid of telling your real life friends how you are feeling too - You'll probably be amazed how supportive they'll be x

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  7. I so hope that writing this post has made you feel somewhat better. I find that getting things off your chest always helps to lighten the load. I can totally relate too with the stressors of work and blog commitments piling up until everything just seems a little too difficult to face. You're obviously hella strong though, so you'll find a way through it and back to yourself. My friend always says to me "kick self doubt really hard in the you-know-whats and carry on going!" xxx

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  8. I felt like you were speaking to my soul! I have been unhappy because of several things lately, and its upsetting because I happen to be in a good place physically and want to enjoy all of that. However, I couldn't because I was constantly brooding over having to do things i dont enjoy or have the passion for. But i didn't feel like talking about it to anyone, which sort of made things worst.

    So, Thank you for this post, it was really encouraging! I hope everything works out for you dear :)

    X, Carina
    Running White Horses | Fashion + Travel

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  9. Yes, I have felt unhappy many times and often for long periods during my life. The causes were numerous - bad life situations, having trouble getting over childhood traumas, vitamin deficiencies, and at least one that I think I may share with you and haven't gotten over yet - a lack of self-confidence.
    You are an extremely pretty young woman and are obviously quite intelligent. I hope you conquer your feelings of vulnerability and manage to tap into the strong, confident, intelligent, competent and even dominant part of your psyche. Of course there will always be many people who have it much worse that we do. We can feel sympathy for their plight but that does not mean that we do not deserve happiness too. You deserve happiness and to enjoy what you can of life. It all goes by way to fast. P.S.: You are a beautiful young woman.

    http://www.full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/

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  10. Oh dear... Life can be so overwhelming sometimes, especially life in London.
    I get totally where you coming from and just to let you know, you can hold my hand :)

    There are so many opportunities buzzing around you, whilst the uncertainty of everything is pushing you down and you just don't know where to focus your energy at and how to manage everything in 24 hours.

    Meditation doesn't help me. Actually after a long working day, I spent the whole meditation class thinking of what I'm going to eat for dinner ;))
    Be patient with yourself and give yourself a break from all the tasks. Allow yourself weekends off, but properly off.
    Fancy meeting for a cup of coffee any time soon?

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  11. This is a really fantastic blog post. I think it is so important that people be more aware of emotional decline amongst others. It's perfectly normal to be unhappy and anxious at times, as these are the feeling which make us all human beings. Coming from someone who has had very difficult personal dealings with unhappiness and emotional health in the past, I believe that there is such a thing as a "happiness trap"... That the more people strive for 'perfect' happiness, the more they will become eluded by it. This perfection, unfortunately, does not exist. And ironically when people realise this, that's when they feel happier and more content. I also feel at times that I have so much on my plate; trying to please absolutely everyone else, whilst declining my own needs and wants. I've slowly realised that I cannot please everyone, it's impossible. I have to take each day as they come, getting through a manageable amount of tasks and ticking one or two more boxes off the list. I really recommend you watch this video by Zoella too - it's SO relevant to this.... Please look after yourself honey xx

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX92z4Bny50

    www.kathrynskatwalk.com

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  12. I find that talking helps and I hope it helped you to get this out. I've had depression for many years and I find writing really helps.

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