Sunday, 25 September 2016

LIFESTYLE| IT'S OK TO FOCUS ON YOUR OWN PATH

"Comparison is the thief of joy" 

Life is weird init? Do you ever wonder how people get to where they are in life? I mean with  social media being so weaved into the fabric of our society, it is hard not to look at people. We compare, we admire, we can  feel inadequate. I have had times when I have championed others successes and wished them the best. I am happy to say that is most of the time. However, as I am not perfect, I have had times when I have felt less than who I am. Looking at people who are doing well. I am sure we have all felt this, the beaming inadequacy that follows when you are finding things hard. You ask yourself, well how come THEY are lucky? How come THEY  have got what they want? Why can't I have this, when I have worked harder?  It's ok to feel negative... only for a bit. You know why? Because it is time for you to check yourself and recognise why you are feeling this, and what you need to step up our game. In my latest post, I talk about focusing on your own path and success, a post that was inspired by my girl Sophie Milner.

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Is it all really that perfect?

William Shakespeare once said, "All that glitters is not gold" which basically means that just because something looks great, it doesn't mean it actually is. Let me break it down further; you've seen many people stunting on the gram, (that's Instagram if you didn't know). You may see the perfect relationship, admire it and comment below using  the hashtag #relationshipgoals. Or you may see people you admire, doing well for themselves. They have the flashy car or maybe a watch. All perfectly positioned, with their manicured nails, seamless filter to match their seamless Instagram theme. Looks slick, doesn't it? Makes you think that  they've made it and you may want that. But let's think about it a minute.... is it all really that perfect or easy? Each Instagram post is not authentic, it's a single frame of someone's life, that has been fully edited to create an illusion. That goes with all the other social media channels that we covet.

That couple you commented with #relationshipgoals have their own struggles. Ones they do not need to or want to share on the "gram". They may look like they have it together, but do they? I am sure they argue like everyone does, and can't stand to be around each other half the time. Now that isn't weird, it's normal.

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Those entrepreneurs/ founders that flash that expensive watch or that dope ass car. They may have made it and kudos to them! Naturally, you want to be as successful as them, to one day show everyone that you've made it. I think that is the problem, with the rise of social media we make success easily attainable. Let me tell you it isn't! As a budding entrepreneur, the road to success is very draining. I am constantly battling competition and trying to prove myself to the nay sayers.

 You have a million voices offering you suggestions on what you can do, how you can do x y and z. Whilst the advice comes from good places, you try to filter out the noise, separate the relevant from the useless. Whilst trying to maintain your integrity, vision, and sanity. Let me tell you it's frustrating. Lately, I've been hit by the dark cloud of negativity, when it has comes to  figuring out my path, and this has been  mainly due to comparison. Honestly, it has been counterproductive and stressful. I see others, in similar careers, doing well. Embarrassingly, it  irritates me  because,  I know I have something special to show, even if I  were given  a chance.

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Focus on your own path

I hate being counterproductive, and the negativity was so suffocating. A couple of weeks ago,   I spent a few days in hibernation, not really communicating with my friends and staying away from social media! Mainly due to being emotionally and physically drained. I had realised that I had taken on too much, because I wanted too much. I had to cut things out to focus on me, I had to truly realise that some things aren't meant for me right now, but will come with time. One thing, which triggered this mindset was my meet up with Dani, before she moved to NYC. I remember discussing a similar topic and we both agreed, that we became happier when we started focusing on ourselves. So how am I do this?


  • I give myself me time- I work awkward hours with my job. However, taking days off and not feeling guilty about lazy days is bliss! You're allowed to rest.
  • I organised my thoughts- This is tough for me.. I don't like writing things down. However, writing down what you have to do for the day, and setting realistic goals is so mentally healthy. It just makes you aware that you have a path.
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 One thing, I did is stopped focusing on others, and what they were doing. As I highlighted before, we don't know everyone's story. Hell, I  lucky compared to a lot of people out there. However, we all tend to be in a bubble of our own problems and insecurities. Once we step out of it, and the bubble bursts, you finally realise that things will be ok and your mind starts to settle. I don't want you to think that  I am now truly enlightened. I have my days where I just am so frustrated, and that is because I am so ambitious and impatient. What I am trying to say is at least I am aware of this and I am actively taking the steps to focus on my path. I want to be like Usain Bolt in a way, never looking behind me, but accelerating and crossing the finishing line because I believe I can do anything. It's tricky... but I can do it and so can you?

Do you find it difficult to focus on your own path?

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PHOTOGRAPHY- VICKI WU

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10 comments

  1. I loved this post. So much truth in your words.
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  2. Wow, you've obviously been thinking deeply about your path, goals and methodology. I'm clueless about Instagram and have never been on it. Organising thoughts is tough most of the time - and I like the "me time". Yes, I do find it difficult to focus on my path, to make decisions, keep positive and find confidence - I hope I get out of that bubble of insecurities.

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  3. I love love love this Jess๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿพ Xx

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  4. Girl!!! When I tell you that I can relate! I can relate! It's naturally to feel envy and jealousy, it's up to us to turn that emotions into something positive. Letting that emotion to make you strive harder. Instagram is a blessing/a curse - it's the route to growing your business but also decrease your self confidence. By Gods grace, your business will blossom. Just keep working hard

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  6. This is beautiful Jess!
    Such true words❤

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  7. loveeeee this post every word is on point, i can totally relate
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